Hidden feelings

It’s 1.00 am and the weather is windy. Leaves began to fall down from the trees. He couldn’t sleep, so he opened laptop and watched his favorite episode .He couldn’t continue for the second episode. He felt that something is haunting inside him! The wind from the windows waved as a sign of rain. He closed the laptop and went to the book shelf and found a book by famous author. It’s romantic one and he thought that it’s not the time for romance and opened another penny dreadful one of his collection and read few pages, but still he couldn’t feel even the slight change in his mind and heart.
He closed the book and stood near the window and looked outside at the leaves which are moving for the wind. He felt chilled wind touching his forehead and cheeks. His thoughts went back to the days, the days of his happiness, joy, pain! He thought of her, her beautiful divine eyes, her beautiful heart, her angel smile, her love which changed his life, her smell of a fruitful reference. He felt a frozen punch in his heart and he got remembrance of her face when she was on death bed! Her moribund face, her faded smile and her weak body.

He couldn’t grip anymore and he felt a warm tear falling down the cheeks. He cried his heart out. He felt sedated at heart and it started raining. He thought that those raindrops might be her tears that couldn’t see him crying! He remembered his promise to her that he would never cry and fend him and smile all the time and wiped the tears and smiled back at the sky!!A raindrop touched his cheek. He went back to his bed and opened his drawer, looked at the beautiful image of her, hugged the frame and slept!

 

It’s written in response of Mindlovemiserymenagerie Wordle week #131 Challenge

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Choatic Thoughts

Well!I have a friend who once was betrayed, trenched deep by her love! She was deeply hurt and mentally disturbed! I didn’t enclose her situation to her family because ,i couldn’t imagine how they will take this. We both used to stay together in a single room and i used to be beside her and motivated her to be brave and strong. She was one of the strongest and brave girls i have seen,but her braveness got faded gradually. She once thought of committing suicide in my absence,but somehow she failed and survived!

This was happened four years ago and now she is a successful software engineer, a passionate wife and mother of a kiddo! Suicide and losing is not her thing ,but it was her state of mind in which she was.Her mind was in choatic state and filled with evil thoughts.Pessimist in her made her to go till that stage! She then later understood what she really needs and what is the main thing of life and concentrated on her career. She has grown gradually and now she is a successful person.

She was choatic; life seemed to be mess, she loved herself and loved her life and grown each day as an adventure. My advice to everyone after seeing her life is to be bold and strong at the worst path even.Never take instant and evil decisions when you are in a confused state because who knows there might be a beautiful life wrirten for you!

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My feelings

Today’s daily post will suit better for my day!Something is haunting me from inside! what’s that? what’s that evil thing which I’m not aware of?what is making me to feel like this?this is an irksome day which i hate it to the most! I don’t feel like eating anything,i don’t feel like doing anything now, but what’s this mazed state of my mind. Why am i feeling like this?is this because of my bad day at work?i miss something now,is that my mom’s lap?no it’s not!is that my bestie’s hug?i clearly don’t know! I’m vexed with this! I don’t wana speak to anyone and i don’t wana do anything,but i feel like writing,keeping all my thoughts,pain here!

I don’t feel like crying,but i feel a lump in my throat!i can’t do things properly! I’m the one who loves myself the most , but now, even i feel like hating myself,but why?? Why is that??is this happening to only me or will this happen to everyone? So many thoughts are wandering in my mind!i feel my head heavy and heart too! sorrow filled in stomach but i don’t know how to let this feeling out of me!
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True agony!

Only the cheeks know the weight of the tears falling down them.

Only the silent night knows the screams of the inner voice which is suppressed in a pillow.

Only the pillow knows what’s the depth of the situation.

Only the eyes knows how blurry those are filled with tears to even look at the mobile screen.

Only the mouth knows how to suppress the noise of the agony.

Only the stars,moon and black clouds know how many times we gaze at them from balcony by sitting alone and wiping tears.

Only the throat knows what’s that lump which is unable to come out.

Only the heart knows how bad it hurts to cry each night for the same reason again and again and keep all the pain within us.

Only the mind knows how many million times does it hear the same lines “why the fuck me life ?why always me?”!

Only the stomach knows how to hide the pain and smile next day ,as if you are the happiest person on this whole earth!!

Daily post :subdued

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