First Love!

First Love!! It happens to everyone and everyone has to go through that phase at some point in life. It’s the most beautiful phase of life and it either happens with the right person at wrong time or with the wrong person at the right time. You feel that you found someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you have never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and actually want to hear more from them. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true and goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something good or something unexpected happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, you always know that they will share the equal excitement with you. You run to them in the first place, when you are in trouble.

It mostly happens at a quite young age where your body is already excited and ready with the rush of hormones to love someone. They give you butterflies in your stomach when you see them for the first time, the moment when you touch them, you feel the divine love. The wait to see them after a long day gives you joy and you feel that it is worth the wait, when they hold your hand. Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. You see every day in a different way, where you have never seen in life. You feel so loved and warmth by them.

You are not embarrassed or cry with them or in front of them. You will act as a fool and make fun of yourself in front of them to make them laugh. You always dream living a happy life with them all the time. You fantasize and think about waking up next to them every day. You feel delighted in their company and the way they show how much you love them or how much you mean to them. They tell you how beautiful you are and how much they are feeling proud to be with you. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are. There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around.

Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face. In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible. You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate that will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. 

You always remember their voice where you spoke to them for hours, remember their dislikes, likes, the places where you went together, music you have listened together, and everything about them.  You remember your first kiss, first touch and you remember all the first things you have done with them,no matter whether you be with them or not.expect and dream about living with them for the whole life and always wants to be with them, no matter what happens and what you get back!

Even when you are not pretty sure about being with them forever or even after breaking up with them, you always have a special place for them in your heart, which will never let that feel to go no matter what happens and how many persons come across your life, you will never forget your first love and nothing can replace the essence or memories you spent with them. People are really lucky whose first love is the one which lasts forever with them and who can feel the essence of it.

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Mom’s Advice

It’s a misty morning where Rachel is primping in front of mirror for her favorite get-together after long years. She is happy with what she has now and very excited to see her old friends after a long span of time. Anu, Rachel’s daughter who is 31 year old is lost into her thoughts. Rachel was observing her by looking at her from the mirror and thought that she was not seemed to be quite happy since yesterday!

Rachel: “Anu! Is everything fine with you?”

Anu: “I don’t know mom”.

Rachel:”I have been observing you, from the day you came here and you don’t seem to be happy at all”.

Anu started crying and Rachel came to her who is sitting on a bed with cross-legged. Rachel hugged her and passed the tissue to her to wipe the tears.

Rachel: Honey! Why are you crying like this? I haven’t seen you crying in recent years! What’s the reason for this? Tell me I will help you in all the possible ways!

Anu: My relationship is not going well with my husband mom. He is not the same as once he was during college. I loved him so much and now being with him is like a torture.

Rachel: hmmm….baby you are observing change in him, but did you observe change in yourself?

Anu looked puzzled at her mom and said “change in me? I’m the same mom. It’s him who changed now, who has time for everything except for me and who is ignoring me these days.”

Rachel: “Honey! Let me tell you one thing, i am not telling that total mistake lies with you, but even you are responsible for whatever happens in your relationship! See me and your dad were once lovers, now we are happy couple and living happily together. Even I faced a lot at the starting year of my wedding, later I understood the changes and adapted to them.”

Anu: “Don’t blame dad mom! He is a nice person. He will never hurt you as nick is hurting me now!”

Rachel: ummm…she sat on bed cross legged and took anu’s hand and kissed her. “Okay dear! Now tell me what all changes you have observed and what all the problems you are facing with Nick till now, we will sort this out. It’s a promise!”

Anu: “Mom can’t tell you because its not a single change and single thing. There is no point in sorting things out and all. I just want to stay away from him for couple of months!”

Rachel: “Later? After couple if months everything will be solved? Do you think this is the ultimate solution now?”

Anu: ———————– Silence ————————————— after few minutes “okay mom listen, he is coming home late every day, but I thought it’s okay because he is working hard, he is not spending time with me, he doesn’t want to  have dinner with me, he is not bothered about me, he got promotion last week and he didn’t tell me that ,i got to know from his colleagues. I’m all alone at home and he is least bothered about how I feel the whole day! Now he got his own world, his office, his colleagues, his parties and who knows may be dates even! In college I was his world and he used to be with me, only with me, now he has got another world of happiness.”

Rachel: Smiled at her daughter’s innocence and said “let me ask you few questions honey .When he is coming home late did you ever ask the reason?

Anu: “Why should I? Isn’t that his responsibility to inform?”

Rachel: “You are taking things in a wrong way dear. When you were in love his staple goal is to marry you and achieve you happily, now he got that, so his goal will be changed .His goal will be to take good care and working hard for your own family!

Anu is listening carefully to her mom…

When he arrived late it’s you who should ask how his day was, then it will be as a stress reliever to him. When he is not calling you, why can’t you call and ask whether he is coming home for dinner or tell the plan that you want to go out for dinner! He might want to surprise you this weekend about his promotion, when you came to know by his colleagues, why didn’t you plan and throw a surprise party to him? Anu! You are the who chose to be at home. Nick left it to your choice he said “you can stay at home or you can’t work it’s your choice” right?

He has his own World, yes you are right! Everyone should have their own anu. Now I’m not asking your father to involve in this get-together , because it’s my own world of friends and I’m going to enjoy it, that doesn’t means that I’m ignoring your father. We both love each other that don’t means that one’s freedom needs to be affected and both should be together always! Tell me how your sex life is”?

Anu felt strange and remained silent for few seconds and said “I don’t have any problem with that. His intimacy is same on bed”.

Rachel: “You said there might be dates with others, if in that case why your sex life will be amazing? Can’t he go and have sex with his date-chicks? Anu! Let me tell you life is not so easy and do love? It’s complicated but it’s us who should make it liter and get immersed in love.

In a relationship giving is the first thing and later what you get in return doesn’t matter because it’s not a business! May be nick doesn’t have time to give and show his love, so you start doing it. I know he loves you so much and how much he struggled to marry you, so leaving him for couple of months for small reasons don’t work and it’s not good at your part! If you love a person, you should support them at odd times and understand them!

Anu No relationship can survive without trust, honesty and communication, no matter how close you are”.

Anu hugged her mother and kissed her .She now knew what to do and went happily to her home to express her love to her beloved husband!

 

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Bridge of love 💚

It is a hot sunny day and the road seems to be clear out with less traffic.

She: “ Why are you so serious today?”

He: “No! I’m alright!”

She: “Really?then why are you not looking at me?”

He: “I’m in driving seat and I’m driving ,if i look at you ,we will be in hell soon.”

She: “Anywhere with you will be the lovely place for me!”

He:hmm!!

She:“ How was my performance on stage today?”

He: “ You are a great dancer,so obviously it will be good.Incase if i say it’s not ,you have great fans and they might get hurt!”

She: “ is this sarcasm or jealousy?”

He:“ what the hell should i be jealous?”

She: “ Let’s be frank now! What’s the problem with you?”

He:“ Nothing! it’s you who is considering as a problem!”

—–silence——-

She: “ I don’t feel that you are normal,not today but from past days.You are avoiding eye contact, not speaking as you used to, coming late to home. Can you please now stop acting and tell me what’s happening with you?!”

He: Stopped the car and started yelling.  “ It’s  you !Yes the problem is you.You are the one who changed.You are the one who doesn’t have time for me ,but you have lot of time for your performances. You are the one who forgot our anniversary today,you are the one who became busy.You know how many days i have waited at the dining table to have dinner with you? You know how many times i have waited all alone? You will never know because ,i don’t want to hurt you with the changes! “

She: “ whatare you even telling? How can you think this way?Before our wedding itself i said you that dancing is not only my profession ,but it’s my passion too.. I’m just doing it because i love this and to earn and save money for our future.  “

He:“ So do you think that i can’t earn and do you think I’m useless? Can’t i earn for my own love and family?”

She: “Oh my god! What happened to you ! Listen i didn’t mean what you thought.You can earn enough for now but I’m helping you to save for the future!

i haven’t changed at all. Yes, i admit that i don’t have time ,but it doesn’t mean that i don’t love you.You are the one who is unable to accept the changes and responsibilities, previously when we were in love ,we didn’t have enough responsibilities and we had time for each other.Now we are married and became little busy that doesn’t mean that the intimacy between us is gone.

Previous before marriage you used to encourage my profession with all the love and support and after marriage the same person is complaining!I can’t see the bridge of love between us which we have built! I have never complained to you about this because ,i know pretty well that things will change according to time.

See honey! I’ll continue this profession only till get conceived ,after that when i feel that we have saved enough for our kids ,i will stop everything and be only with you.Try to understand things.I love you so much . I’m a great dancer now with all your love and support .I need them forever! I can’t see things fading like this between us!”

Tears roll down ger cheeks and he wiped them and touched her cheeks toom her face in his hands.

He: “ Sorry baby!i didn’t mean to hurt you”.

She:“ You didn’t hurt me with your words bit you did with your silence. I can’t bear the gap between us.I didn’t forget our anniversary check the dash board you will find a letter written by me and i thought of surprising you with lunch at the place where we first met. I might be busy ,i don’t have time for all the other things ,but when it comes to you nothing is the important thing to me !You are the one whom i love so much and want you to be sane forever!When things go worse between us ,you shouldn’t change according to them!

He:hugged her and said “ i love you honey and I’m sorry i didn’t notice your letter. As long as you need my support ,i will be there for you and it’s a promise. Please smile now ,i can’t see my baby doll like this and let’s go for lunch at your favorite place”.

She smiled and he kissed her passionately with all the love which they missed from past days!

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Coffeeshop☕

She sipped her favorite double shot cappuccino sitting at the table of her favorite place and opened her laptop and checked the emails, suddenly she glanced at the date it’s October 26 ,2016 .A strange sudden feel passed through her veins. It’s his birthday and it’s been five years, but still she feels the same for him and this day reminds her of her nostalgic moments!
She closed the laptop, finished her cappuccino and lost in thoughts to the past days where they met at the same coffee shop , spent hours together holding each other hands, took pictures of themselves, had silly fightsspoke dirty, planned their future at the same table and the same place.

It’s January 3rd, 2009 on a sunny morning he entered into coffee shop to have his expresso,he ordered for one and settled at a table and involved himself in a magazine. As its weekday coffee shop is not much crowded and then she enters with a beautiful smile ordered her double shot cappuccino and sat at another table. They both had their coffees and when she was about to leave a voice called her from behind

He
: “Excuse me?!”

She:
She turned back with an attitude and said “yes”?

He
:”when you ordered coffee and passed through my table, an earring of yours fallen at my table and this is the one” and he gave her earring to her.

She
: In surprise she checked her ear found the empty ear, smiled and said “yes! It’s mine thank you”.

He
:”Pleasure is all mine to meet you and you have such a beautiful smile, i have ever seen!!”

She
: blushed slightly by his words, shook hand and introduced her.

They both introduced themselves and left the coffee shop. Days passed by and they met in the same coffee shop often and exchanged numbers. Both started to like each other and started introducing each other to their friends and started hanging out with each other. One fine day on a cool rainy evening on October 10, 2009

He: “can I ask you a question dear?”

She
: “yes! Sure. Why are you hesitating?”

He:
 “I just don’t know how to start and I’m not good at expressing thoughts, but I have to today. See, I have met many girls in my life, but never ever connected so much with anyone as I did with you. I don’t know where this goes and the first time when i saw you in the same coffee shop, I felt a special bond between us.”

She
: Staring at him with her puppy eyes and in a husky voice she said “complete it”.

He
: I really can’t imagine your absence in my life and can’t express how much your presence mean to me. I can’t promise you but I will take good care of you for the rest of our life. I can’t imagine you getting married and being in the arms of some other man. Just be my side on each single day in my life and make it bright!

He took a bouquet of roses and her favorite chocolates from his bag and gave her. He took her hand into his and said I love you , please accept my love ,i can’t live without you. Be as the mother for my kids and please consider me as another kid and bear me for the rest of life.

Tears rolled out of her eyes for his words and she said “i love you more than you do, I was waiting for this moment. This is the awesome moment of my life and you are the man of my dreams and fantasies”.

He bent forward and kissed her on forehead and that day it started like that where they laughed together, spent time together, kissed each other even at public, cooked for each other, surprised each other, showered each other with gifts, planned fantasized dates, many moonlight dinners. 

It’s their one year anniversary of love and she invited him to home and planned a romantic dinner .They had dinner sat in the balcony and gazed stars, spoke about their future. She said that she is going to surprise him and took him to a room of scented candles. She wanted to show how much she loved him and they ended up making love. She said “This was the gift which I wanted to give you on our anniversary. Nothing more than this can tell how much I love you”. He kissed her softly and their bodies entwined with loving souls. Months passed by and he got a call by her to meet him immediately at the coffee shop.

He: He kissed and asked “what’s the matter honey?”

She: “I don’t know how you will take this but I’m not happy as well as not sad, but I’m worried because of this. Don’t get panic by this. I got conceived and it’s second month.”

He: “what’s the f**k? Oh my god! It’s all because of your surprise, i didn’t plan any precaution and i couldn’t do anything! Are we really ready for this!? How can I tell this at home? ”

She: “I don’t know! We are well settled financially, we love each other but marriage is the only thing which we didn’t have and I can’t tell this at home and they can’t take this. But i need this baby because it’s the symbol of our love and I don’t want to kill or something.”

He: “Okay! Don’t worry, I’ll tell at home, even you tell about our relationship at your home and try to convince them. If they are not okay with this we should get married without their permission as we are majors and we love each other and if we drag like it will be a problem because we can’t hide the truth!”

She: “okay, but we need to do something soon” she smiled with tears and hugged him. He hugged her back and kissed her.

He went to his place and told his parents about this and they are okay with this and for the marriage but her parents are not okay with this and she fought at home and left her parents. When they met after meeting their parents, she hugged him and explained what has happened and he took her to his home where he stays and they are now being in a single home and it’s all his love which is making her happy!

It’s 7th month for her and she on maternity leave. One afternoon she is waiting for him to come home, but he didn’t come. She called and couldn’t reach his number then later in the evening she got a call stating that he met with an accident ,his head got injured ,due to heavy bleeding from the head and he passed away on the spot and they asked to collect the body from mortuary! She remained breathless for what she heard over phone and suddenly world seems to be upside down for her. She ran to hospital and collapsed on seeing him in such state. She couldn’t face and cried like hell. She doesn’t want this to happen and she wants her to be in his place instead of him. She called her parents, but they didn’t turn up. People are now calling him as body that was once her soul mate, love of her life. She called his parents and they blamed her for everything and did the funeral.

Life became so tough for her, she is unable to eat, sleep and survive. She cried like there are no more tears in her eyes, she couldn’t stay at the place where they lived happily. She hate god, her life. She cried in the darkness and remained all alone. She used to scream at nights and used to go mad literally. She wants to die and try committing suicide for two times but failed. She became weak physically and mentally without any moral support. Some of her friends admitted her in the hospital. Due to her ill health, baby’s condition is not proper inside and doctors took out the baby at 8 th month itself. It’s a premature tiny baby wrapped in a cloth, lying beside her with closed eyes, tiny ears, and tiny lips as his father’s. She touched his fingers and kissed him. Cried hard for her loneliness. Scolded her luck and fate. Prayed god to give strength to fight for her tiny little one.

She felt happy on seeing the tiny one and understood why she has to still exist. She faced lot of problems, she couldn’t get any help financially from both parents, heard many rumors of the society, faced worst situations, became stronger by each passing day and hided her tears to see the smiles of the little one. She worked hard just to fulfill all the needs of the little one and brought him up same as his father. She is happy to see their loved one to grow in front of her, but she has this missing feeling of the person once she loved the most.

She is now transformed into a strong single parent and owned the same coffee shop as remembrance of her love, where was once she used to be a regular vendee, a girl who was young and innocent, a girl who was childish, who was once thought of committing suicide for life’s injuries and girl who was once left alone by everything and everyone ,even by fate! 

 

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The Ancient times

After seeing the daily prompt ancient  today ,i really thought of the ancient days which doesn’t exist anymore now!we should appreciate the current state of living, but when see in depth everything seems to be materialistic.I see materialistic relationship, materialstic love, materialistic way of living. When we throw back to ancient days people used to give more importnace to people,love, friendship, loyalty , spending time with others. They is no so called word called busy” in ancient times,but now we don’t have time for ourselves.

“Ancient lovers believed that a kiss would literally unite their souls ,because the spirit was said ti be carried in one’s breath”.

Ancient love and bonding was totally different.I have seen a special bond and intimacy in my grandparents and some of the old relationships.Where is such intimacy can be seen in present generation? It’s not there now.Though the people are being with each other , there is no love can be seen ,in the name of privacy people are maintaning a thin fine line which can’t be seen and which can’t be wipe..

Time and technology has changed a lot but what can give the happiness and joy of a letter written with their own hands to the loved ones? They can be stored and can be seen when they are old. Messages,video clips,audio clips , skyping everything is fine now but they are nothing when compared to the letter or a card which is written.
People these days thinks that romance means having candle light dinner but what can give a more pleasure than holding each other hands on a balcony while gazing stars and moon?? There is thrill in waiting and the wait makes people to get more closer .Who have patience to wait for now? Everyone are running with time ,people don’t have time to see and enjoy sunrise and sunset.They just wakeup go into their busy lives and come back late at home and sleep! where is the time for ourselves?

People have costly cars now with super special and fast engines but do we really have time to roam in them? Look back to those days where our grandfather’s and father’s have one car ,but yet they enjoyed and used it in a full fledged way.

In ancient times people used to do their work on their own.Now people are leaving their home with maids and guards,their children with some servant maids and caretakers,their lovely cars with drivers and their parents at oldage homes.If they did everything on their own no one will miss the joy of your child’s childhood smiles,joy of driving your own car after washing on your own,joy of maintaining your home and being in that happily and joy of being with parents and looking after them at the age where they need us.

In ancient times love means a bond, family is the most priority to anyone and people used to be with time but now love people don’t know the real value of love, family is the least priority and people are running with time.Everyone has a wealthy life ,but fail to show some humanity!

I just wana go back to ancient times where i could enjoy all the ages and all the phases if life in a fullfledged way.I just want to see and feel the real intimacy of love and humanity in life.

Heart Break💔

Everyone at some point in their life has to experience it and you know what?let me tell you it is the most painful part of life a person has to go through.When you get your heart broken,it feels like it shattered into million pieces,It is like a person stamped over your heart with high heels.
It’s like your heart is being shredded into pieces,cut up and thrown away in the trash.It hurts you emotionally and physically.Getting heart broken emotionally effects you physically!!

You cry and cry and wish it wasn’t like this.You wish it was just a temporary nightmare,but the truth is it’s not , it’s reality which is hard to digest and bitter to swallow.And you are just going to accept the pain and all.

Sometimes you can’t express how it is ,you can’t cry louder,you cry silently when everyone are asleep so that they wouldn’t hear you.You feel it in your throat and your eyes becomes blurry because of the tears.You Just want to scream on top of the sky ,but you can’t . You just hold your breath and grab your stomach to keep quiet.The one where you cannot hold it any longer nor cannot express it out.Finally you think of the person who broke your heart and realize that they are not in your life anymore and the one who means you the most has gone!!

Weekly Discover Challenge: Radical Authenticity

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Don’t promise,just prove!

I don’t want to spend time with you now,but i Wana live with you for years,

I won’t say i love you, but I’ll say i wana live with you forever,

I don’t want you to glance at me, instead i want you to look deep into my eyes and make me to forget this world,

I don’t wanna stay safe with someother person ,instead i wana stay beside you in storm,

I don’t want you to make me laugh instead stay in my life and smile with me each and everyday,

I don’t want you only to wipe my tears at my odd times ,but also tap my back and stand for me at my odds and lift me to the sky at my highs,

I don’t want you to make me feel Perfect,but i want you to make me feel that I’m complete,

I don’t wan you to dance with me in the rain,but i want you to sit in the couch and watch me dancing in the rain with your adorable eyes and wonderful smile,

I don’t wana promise you anything because promises might break someday,but i can hold your hand and look into your eyes so that our eyes gets locked and speak to each other and I’ll prove you by  staying  forever in ♥ with you!!

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Love tree

Relationship is  like a tree ,

In the initial stage , you sow the seeds as faith and it becomes a plant.

You should pour water as trust and it becomes bigger day by day.

You should give the freedom as sunlight so that it will be able to breathe and get relaxed.

If you take good care of it with all the love,it will grow bigger with It’s branches and gives you sweet fruits as happiness where people  can enjoy the fruitful essence in that relationship.

A tree need seeds,water, sunlight and good care which are four basic and vital things to grow;same in any relationship faith,trust,love and freedom are the staple things which leads the relationship as a true one.

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